The first time.

I sit back tonight, its rainy, the house is still, I am suppose to be working on homework, however, nothing seems to be flowing right now. A few days ago I got a letter in the mail. It's from my aunt, who is incarcerated, and gets out in 2011. As I read her letter, which is filled of her daily life, and the lives of our estranged family members, I remained thankful that my parents raised me different; I can't picture ever sitting on the front porch with my mom smoking, snorting, drinking, or doing whatever we felt like putting in our bodies that morning. If you've been down that road and are on the mends, my hats off to you. It must be a challenge to over come something with such power. Whether one realizes or not, the power it has over you is often stronger than what you really have in you. However, I didn’t intend for my first blog to go down this path. I just went. I find myself doing that more these days. Just going. I don’t want to live life just going through. I am sure it has a lot to do with graduation coming close... only 76 days. I can't believe how close I am! I found out today all of my claims have passed. I am so pleased! I was worried; however, I am good and set to go! Go down a new road, a new path, a new life. Not that I am leaving my current, or old life behind, I am just heading out on a new one. One that excites, thrills me, pushes me, and breaks me. By breaking I mean, I hope it keeps me humble, and open minded. I might have a degree of importance, however, I don't ever what that importance to get to my head, and my head become bigger than body. I am already called, "bobble head" due to the fact I volunteer for everything we need to get done and accomplished in group. Our wonderful TA came up with that nick name for me. hehe. One of my favorite things in life is quotes. I have one person in my life, who I can sit and talk to her all day, and learn so much, She said this in a conversation a few of us were having and its something that stuck with me, and now it's helping me to become the person I am destined to become. "Healthy love creates a space to become your best self, and you are becoming your best self."
One of things I look at continually is how healthy my relationship with people is. Are they helping me to become my best self? Are they helping me to be all I can? Or are they removing me from me? Are they removing me from my essence and encouraging things I don’t feel are me? Relationships of all kinds shape us and mold us into who we become in life, and whether its a friendship, family relationship, dating, or marriage relationship each of these people in your life are going to have some influence on who you are, and where you go in life. Now, I can let my estranged families life style affect me, and shape me, but I know that, that's not who I want to be, nor is it what I really want out of life. Healthy love helps you to become your best self... and the best gift you can give to someone is yourself, your best self... Create healthy loving relationships... It leads to wonderful paths in life. “Oh, the places you will go…” Till next time… my eyes are closing, my mind is going longing for rest, and my fingers are going numb from the endless hours of typing.