October to December.

It is always this time of year when I start thinking about how I have grown or how I havent, and what it is I really want to accomplish for the remaining months of the year... However for the first time in a long time I am some what content as to where I am... I have graduated college, the first in my family, on both sides, I've repaired some relationships that were lost, I've made the decision to move and live in Europe, and take some time to really discover and find out who this girl with in me is. I have a clue, but I want to know what she is really made of... such as, will she make it four whole months with out seeing or hugging her little buddies, or being here watching home made videos and laughing at how weird I was as a child... ok I might be a little weird still, but I now talk like a civil person, and I am not tom boyish. :) I love the make up, nails and hair. Everything about being a girl! :) For whatever reason I've been longing to get back in contact with those whom I've lost contact with. I think it goes back to Mr. Mike passing away sometime ago. It has been hardest for me in my family... But it's just made me long to get back in contact with every person who has had some type of impact on my life. Some have been fun, others, it's been interesting, and some haven't been interested. Which is fine, I understand. Others I've learned to let go, and realize theres a reason they're not here in my life now. The preparation I've taken to get here, was by no means easy, and half the time I didn't understand what the heck I was feeling. Tonight as I sit here, I feel blessed to have every person in my life that is here and that isn't. We've been on this home video kick for about a week now, it's been a blast and as weird as I might had been it's still so funny. It's also this time of year when I long to be home, for the fair, and hanging out with friends at coffee shops or sitting in their apts playing games until ungodly hours in the morning and it being so cold out... :) Over all, there are things I long to change, and there are things I am working on... But for once, in a long time I can honestly say I am happy with where I am in my life... I am embracing me for who I am, and where I am going. It's taken me a while to get to this place, and without going to Springfield, and without one teacher in my life, I wouldn't be at the point I am now... Content with being me...
I love the way fall makes me feel and the warmth it brings with it. The holidays are right around here, I am excited for decorating and such... Shopping on the other hand... Not so much!